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Thursday, July 10th, 2008

Subject:2 years today.
Time:5:37 pm.
Mood: sad.
We would've been together 2 years today Marcus.



No matter how much I try and not think about it , it doesnt make a difference what I do.
I made the decision 2 years ago today , that you were the only one for me , for the rest of my life. And its still true.
I can't get over you and I can't let us go.
I want to go back 2 years , I want to fix this. I wish you could love me like you used to.


 I love you.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

Time:9:16 am.
Music:Sentenced - Drain Me.
Chris says:
i cant see my friends for christmas because they are all busy with family, same for you?
vampe says:
well more or less, but theyre over the other side of the world
and i miss marcus so much
Chris says:
that love for him sure is strong
vampe says:
*sigh* yeah.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, December 24th, 2007

Subject:How do you say I love you , if they can't hear , and they wont read.
Time:12:01 am.
Music:Poets of the Fall - Stay.
I love you , and I miss you so much every day. The hole in my stomach isn't any smaller than it was this year, like they all said. Its bigger , and with every day you've been gone it gets bigger , until its like a black hole , that never ends.
There's nothing that can replace the gap left in my heart , because you were the only piece that ever fit in 23 years , and now you're gone. I wish I could wake up to you every day , and fall asleep to you at night , and tell you how much I love you.
How am I supposed to start this new year without you ?
How am I supposed to carry on my life , if you're not here to hold my hand ?

I saw something I wanted to give you for Christmas the other day , and felt sick having to remind myself , that you're no longer with me.
Everyone is sick of hearing about you , especially here , they've never met you. But they know how happy you made me.

Why can't someone just give me all of 2006 back ? Or my whole life ? I'd go through everything again , just to be with you.

I wish I could apologise for everything I ever did wrong , i wish I could take it all back, I'd do anything at all to take it all back

I just want you back.
It's not getting better , like everyone said it would , like I'd get over you. and forget us.
But I can't forget you. I can't forget the way you smell , or how you laugh. I can't forget how stupid we would act when we were drunk together, or how i would bite you to make you wake up. I can't forget eating breakfast with you every morning , and when I would wake up first in the morning and just lay there and smile at you , and say i love you , and you'd say i love you too and smile in that way you always would , when I said I love you , and you'd pull me closer and hug me , still with your eyes closed.

I miss you so much my heart is aching in my chest tonight. You gave me the happiest moments of my life.

Merry Christmas baby , I don't have anything to offer any more. just an apology and the fact I still love you.

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007

Time:2:04 am.
Last year this time I was with you , and I was happy. I was better than I am now. I'm so unhappy without you. I didn't think I could be this sad in one lifetime.

Why can't you just listen to me ? I'd give up everything I have , just to have you back.

Friday, October 5th, 2007

Subject:saknar dig.
Time:1:24 am.
Mood: depressed.
Music:Blaqk Audio - Cities of Night.
Just one more chance
To prove it's you alone I care for
Each night I say a little prayer for
Just one more chance

Just one more night
To taste the kisses that enchant me
I'd want no others if you'd grant me
Just one more chance

I've learned the meaning of repentance
Now you're the jury at my trial
I know that I should serve my sentence
Still, I'm hoping all the while
You'll give me

Just one more word
I said that I was glad to start out
But now I'm back to cry my heart out
For just one more chance

We spend our lives in groping for happiness
I found it once and tossed it aside
I paid for it with hours of loneliness
I've nothing to hide
I'd bury my pride for...
Just one more chance
Just one more chance

I've learned the meaning of repentance
Now you're the jury at my trial
I know that I should serve my sentence
Still, I'm hoping all the while
You'll give me

Just one more word
I said that I was glad to start out
But now I'm back to cry my heart out
For just one more chance
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, July 16th, 2006

Subject:The one.
Time:10:50 pm.

There is noone else for me, but you anymore.

Comments: Read 23 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, July 29th, 2004

Time:11:43 pm.
Music:HIM - Resurrection.



An endless path lies up ahead as I try to walk
Upon a ridge where I might fall at any time
Where is your hand to keep me safe, to reduce the emptiness
I wonder why it lures me in

I feel your trace, but I can’t turn your distance round again
How did you ever get so far away

With every step you hide your scent, so where should I seek?
I know you left your heart behind, too far to speak
Now there’s no rest as it calls me and I see a sign of life
The burning trail reflects in your eyes

Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

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